As a follow up, I visited an old friend today, my therapist.
Everyone should have one, even more than everyone should have a "token ___ guy". (or gal).
Our parent's tried, but they still screwed up. Sometimes on purpose, sometimes not. Sometimes because of something they did, sometimes something they didn't do.
My friend Sally recently published a blog about daddy issues, Click to read it here...
and I really loved what she had to say. Little did I know, that inside my iceburg, was
a frozen daddy issue of my own. The idea goes like this: inside of our selves, we have internal "parents" who help us out in this world... an internal mother to nurture, and an internal father to protect. There's more, of course, but you should talk to your own therapist about it.
My dad died when I was 11. He was an artist and musician, and yet chose to work in a gold mine. He worked over one mile below the earth, in sweaty, stinky, dirty caves and tunnels all day and sometimes all night. This is how we were able to get our teeth cleaned - today I still have an amazing smile because of the health care from his job.
And now, I am living as an artist and musician, and as much as I hate the idea of having a 9-5 job, I can't even imagine how much he hated having to go to work. And then, as they say, there was an accident.
I admit that I'm super fragile right now, there's so much going on and I really want to honor my new commitment to figure out how I find and connect with my inner dad. I do need him in my life, because I've got some stuff to work on that involves him.
So until then, and in honor of our upcoming Father's Day, I want to introduce you to my dad.
This is a recording of my dad interviewing my brothers one Christmas Eve. I was napping, because apparently I get cranky when I don't get enough sleep :) It's amazing that these things are true even at such a young age!
So there you have it, another peek into my life... thank you Sally for being so honest, and thank you to everyone else for the room to breathe -- we all have our issues and I appreciate your love while I try to heal some of mine :)